Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
