Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
