They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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