fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize