it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
