i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
