"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
