Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
