I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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