I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
