I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
