fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The best revenge is premature balding
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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