making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
