I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize