I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize