that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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