So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
