Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
