how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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