Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
