Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
