Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
