Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
