i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
