Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize