I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
