the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she peed on how many people?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
