I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize