how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
