Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
