You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No subtext here. People are naked.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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