Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
