nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
