Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
