i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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