I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
