But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize