yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize