Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
