if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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