Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
