i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
