If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
