You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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