He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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