my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
