Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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