Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize