She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
