i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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