You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
