Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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