i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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