we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
