they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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