A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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