Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
