Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
