Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize