Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize