I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
