Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
