Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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