lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
