I bet he comes in French.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
