the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
