so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
