Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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