its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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