Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
